I lived the first fifty years of my life in an environment of chronic testosterone overload…
An alpha male physician father and three brothers, followed by an alpha male husband and three sons, as well as twenty-plus years of practicing medicine surrounded by alpha male colleagues.

Naturally, I did what any non-self-respecting intelligent woman would do:
I dimmed down.
I dumbed down.
I played small, I took up less space.
I mastered Second Fiddle.
I leaned out instead of in.
I said, “Ok, sure,” (followed by the inevitable ensuing thought, “Why the fuck did I agree to that??”)
Because as we all know, nice girls don’t say “No.”
People won’t like you; they won’t be pleased.
You’ll be seen as “a bitch.” (Gasp!) Or threatening. Or…selfish. (My personal nemesis.)

And the Guilt.
Always the fucking Guilt.

My light came on when, towards the end of my twenty year marriage, my husband nonchalantly turned to me and stated, “You know, I realize I don’t really need to be with a smart woman.”

Say what??

Ouch.
Fuck.
All that dimming and dumbing to get here??

No! No! No! No! No! *
(Holy shit– it really is a complete sentence!)

Sheryl Sandberg!
Helen Reddy!
I’m ready!
I’m in!
Not only am I leaning—
I’m lunging.
I’m roaring.
I’m expanding,
Stretching,
Reaching.
Fuck the comfort zone.
Fuck those with fragile egos who can’t handle it.
I realize now that they are the small ones—
And my playing small will never change that.

No more dimming,
No more dumbing.

Shine on, Ladies!

*Megaphone optional but highly recommended. (Wonder Woman stance required.)